I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
