bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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