is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
