Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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