no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
