I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
