How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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