Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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