you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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