So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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