The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
