I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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