Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
