I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
