I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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