shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
