Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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