this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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