grandma shit on top of the toilet
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
