Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
