Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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