If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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