wrigley field is MILF paradise
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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