the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize