If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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