I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She has the best kind of daddy issues
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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