puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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