How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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