Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
