well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize