So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
