They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
