I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
