I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
