sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My friends, they love my intelligence
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
