yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
