At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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