talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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