I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
