doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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