I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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