And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Soap is not a condiment
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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