It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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