Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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