im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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