i may or may not be watching the land before time
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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