My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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