Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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