one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
