God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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