Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
