Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
a search helicopter?!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
