you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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