Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize