If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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