p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize