do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
