you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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