i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
