this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
