yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
well you can't waste a boner
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
