Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
