He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
