So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
