I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
