No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
