dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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