I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize