I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
