Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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