it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
lol hangovers are for mortals.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
