why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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