I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize