I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
