This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
