OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
